Christmas was nice but it came and went in an instant this year. With PopPop (father-in-law) in the hospital with prolonged liver trouble and Daddy leaving before lunch on the 25th for Urbana it was very different. The kids and I spent the whole day and weekend at my parent's house, didn't host, didn't travel. The holiday held less stress in that way but I think I missed it. I missed having a house full and having both families in and out over Christmas day. I really miss Billy (husband) too. I hope Urbana is amazing. I know he'll be exhausted. I'm not looking forward to this week without him. But in the back of my mind I wonder if I'm playing a part in a BIG kingdom work. Urbana is the largest mission conference in the US. I've heard it described as life-changing. I am enabling my husband to go who is helping run the conference, which God is going to use to call students closer, to go, to change the world. :) It's an encouraging thought.
With so much of my family here at my parent's house I've had more time to get away, to think, to pray. Also with all these new toys and games there was a heightened sense of frustration with Super Frog yesterday. He and I both have control issues. I am trying to instruct him and help him with these new building things, board games etc. and we were not jellin' well together. Not encouraging for a hopeful homeschooler mommy. "I can even explain a game to him..."
So yesterday after a day of frustration and anger at my little frog I got away to read and prayed. I read a portion of 1st and 2nd Peter.
1 Peter 5:2,3,5 talks about being a willing shepherd of God's flock, being a godly example and having humility. I felt very convicted. Sometimes I don't feel very willing to shepherd my little flock. I'm dragging my feet, I'm annoyed and angry. Why? Am I too focused on the tasks I want to get done and my children get in the way?
Frog's attitude and unwilling spirit angers me but how do I speak to it?
Am I simply being lazy and selfish?
I am a mother of young children--in the scheme of life it is a short stage, one filled with extreme sacrifice. Can I embrace that and let other things go? Should I really be considering homeschooling?
2 Peter 1:3-8 was right there too and that's a verse that I've clung to many times--He has given everything I need! I am praying and trusting (trying to) that He IS changing me. A couple of things I know need to be dealt with...
enjoy God
enjoy Super Frog and Little Bird more without task oriented motivation
have more respect for Frog as his own individual person
Well that's it.
Today was better and I am enouraged but still feel like I need a kick in the pants or something.
